Life is my litterbox ... Grab the SCOOP!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #14

Efurry once in awhile, Mom hears from her dear friend and mentor, Dr. Helen. Mom's known Dr. Helen for longer than I've been alive and owes much of her success as an adult to things she learned from her mentor's example. Dr. Helen was Mom's twelfth grade English teacher back-in-the-day. Dr. Helen was also Mom's supervising teacher seventeen years ago when Mom first started out in academia.

Dr. Helen forwareded this message in an email ... the meat-and-potatoes of today's Thursday Thirteen. Most of the wisdom applies just to humans, but some of it can be applied to the cat blogosphere, too.

Oh, BTW ... I wanna personally thank Dr. Helen for contributing to my excellent grammar (and for makin' Mom employable so that I'm never without stinky goodness or Temptations®).

As I've Matured...
1. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope that they panic and give in...

2. I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

3. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

4. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion ... not proof ... to destroy it. 

5. I've learned that whatever hits the fan will NOT be evenly distributed. 

6. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think. 

7. I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

9. I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you THINK you're finished. 

10. I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.  
11. I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.  (But there is hope, 'cuz "old age and treachery will easily overcome youth and skill!). 

12. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. 
13. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon ... All the less important ones just never go away, and the real pains in the butt are permanent!


Rosie & Cheeto said...

My favurite is #3 cause it uses a bad werd and is sooo true abowt peeple being Jackbooties! -Cheeto

I luv numbur 1 cause I do that all the time to new peeple who visit. Stalking werks! -Rosie

Owr lady's favurite is numbur 4. She says its vary true that suspicion produces the same distrust as proof. Ummm, we gotta go put the stolun temptayshun's back now...

Thanks fur sharing!!! And THANKS Dr. Helen fur being such a grate friend and mentor to the amazinglie wondurful Ms. Daisy Mae Maus and hur family!

Tara said...

Those are great, and 13 is oh so true!

Mom says there is also "Youth is wasted on the young". I'm not sure I agree with that.....

Daisy said...

Hahahaha! When I read your intro, I thought this was going to be a sentimental list. This is too funny. My favorite is #9. I hate it when my stomach goes chug-chug-chug-chug but nothing comes out!

jeter harris said...

i am laffin an laffin!
mi mom would like to meet da grate dr. helen.
uv course ... her favrit iz #3!

Parker said...

Ha Ha Ha - don't pet the sweaty things! I loved it!

The Meezer Gang said...

we were gonna say the same a Parker: don't pet sweaty things! ::laffin::

Gemini said...

That's a good TT!

Kaze, Latte, or Chase said...

Those are very important life lessons!


Munchkin, Missy and Monte said...

Great list, all are so true.

Anonymous said...

I, Spazz, am told by me mudder that one should never take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time. (She told me this as I went to greet her before she got to the big kitty litter box, ewwwww).

Spazz, Mr. Murphy, Miss Priss, Booboo Kitty, and Phoebe

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

we hadta tell the Blonde Girl 'bout nummer 1. it's furry fitting...

Jake and Bathsheba said...

Thanks for sharing Dr. Helen's email message. Those are some compelling words of wisdom.

Our mom also had a high school English teacher who was very influential. She introduced Mom to Thomas Hardy and the book Jude the Obscure. That led to her reading Far from the Madding Crowd on her own and deciding that she would name a cat for Bathsheba, the main character. Mom ALMOST majored in English in college, but decided that economics was somewhat more "practical." (Or at least that was the perception back then.)


Kimo & Sabi said...

1.this applies to petting cats too
3.cats too
6.that's what we say
7.good reframe
9.totally! something sweaty? Ewww!
12.or cats

Chen & Ollie said...

That's funny, DaisyMae! We like #2 a lot - that's why we position ourselves so mommy and daddy can't move at night and the blanket is ours, all ours!
Mr. Chen & Ollie

William said...

DaisyMae, that's the BEST TT I've ever read! My mom laughed a whole bunch too. :-)

Karen Jo said...

I love your TT, Daisy Mae. It is so true and funny as well. Thank you very much, Dr. Helen. They are all so good that I can't pick one favorite, but #3 and #5 crop up frequently in my life.

Dragonheart said...

Those are very funny words of wisdom! :) My mom is laughing at #6 and she says #2 is very true!

Shilgiah the Cat said...

Mom is still laughing. Thirteen great bits of humorous truth.

Triller said...

Hi Daisymae.
Fanks fer bisiting my Bloggie.
Welikes yor birchewal Kitty. It looks jus like you!
Bye fer now.
Triller an Chelsea

Caesar + Prinnie said...

This was really fun to read and a good laugh too :-D

~Caesar + Prinnie

she said...

Great list. I'm particularly fond of #11 ;)