Life is my litterbox ... Grab the SCOOP!

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Shopping ... We SCORED!

Mom had some coupons, so she went shopping today and came back with bags and bags of good stuff for us. She had some "Smarty Cat" catnip, two big bags of our favorite Eukanuba, some Royal Kanin "baby cat" for Fudgie's delicate tummy, some more cans of shrimp Sheba, and treats, too. We SCORED! She also had lunch out with Grandma and brought back half a turkey sandwich for us. We love our turkey almost as much as our pork. Mom says that they put too much meat on a sandwich ... In my book, there's never too much meat. I'll gladly take it off of her hands ... She prefers that I leave the fingers, though.

It still looks as gray and gloomy as it did yesterday. The a/c was on 'cause it's still really humid, but it looks like it might rain. I sure wish that it would so that Mom won't be so uncomfortable at work. I'm glad that it's the weekend ... I got to cuddle a lot last night and Mom slept in until 9 AM this morning. Charmee was happy because he likes to lay on her legs.

Charmee had to have two pimples removed. I've noticed that only the white and orange Feline Americans tend to get cat pimples. We dark furred cats don't get them. Charmee bit Mom when she took the pimple off of his lip. Yuck. Do you all get those horrible dark spots? I told Charmee that the "cat fairy" left them last night because he didn't do a good enough job of washing his face. He told me that he plans to catch the "cat fairy" and give her what for ... We'll see if he does a better clean-up job tonight.

DaisyMae Maus

Friday, July 28, 2006

Thank goodness it's Fur-riday!

The a/c has been on all day even though it looked really cloudy and gloomy from my vantage point on the front windowsill. Mom is supposed to be ours all weekend for naps, and games of "fetch" and laser beam pen (she promised all week). Lucky Charmz is hoping that his Eeeek! (the pink one) is dry enough to play with. Mom found it floating in the water dish, so she hung it up with those pinchy clothespins to dry it out. Don't tell Lucky, but Mom also dips it into some fresh catnip for him after he attempts a toy drowning. Mom is really sneaky that way.

The best thing though is that when Mom got home about a half hour ago, she had bags from PetSmart. I supervised as she put the Sheba cans into our cupboard. She even let me select our treat for this evening after she has her dinner (and we mooch). I chose Alaskan King Crab as the paté du jour (we tuxedo cats need to know a little French to keep up our mystique). Mom squashed and divided our treat into our six dishes and we MUNCHED OUT! Oh, it was so, so good.

Some cats have been interested in our Crock Pot deliciousness. I've watched Mom when she makes cooking attempts and it doesn't look very hard. She is good at dumping stuff into the pot and then selecting some spices. Mom likes parsley, onions, rosemary, garlic (only a little ... she's not one of those "BAM!!!" kind of cooks). She likes the roasting types of chickens that she puts in whole with some 'tatoes and carrots and slivered onions and celery. Sometimes she puts in apple slices and a cinnamon stick ... that makes the chicken nicely pink and aromatic. She's also a fan of black pepper, but it makes Fudgie sneeze when he is "watching". Fudgie is big on being carnivorous. I guess that I am, too. Sparky Fuzzypants has the occasional salad. Cocoa Puff likes it when she cooks asparagus, but he stinks up the litterbox when he's been eating his spears. He likes them lots. Probably because they're expensive. I don't like veggies. Pumpkin only eats cat food. If it's not purchased at PetSmart or Petco, Pumpkin won't touch it. I guess he's a purist. I just think that he's a food snob. I'll eat just about anything. When I was an outside cat, I used to follow the youngest kid around and eat whatever he dropped. I ate lots of pepperoni and pizza crust. That diet wasn't good for my girlish figure or my health. Mom has been great for my health. I get lots of the good stuff. Lucky Charmz likes "audience participation" ... He likes to sit on the counter and watch Mom assemble stuff. She has to be careful when she uses the oven because he's been known to try to jump in with whatever is going to be cooked. He can be a pain in my butt, but I'd miss him if he got cooked.

Enjoy your Fur-riday! I'm gonna cuddle with Mom and watch television. Maybe she'll put in a dvd ... or watch some of the stuff that we've been "taping" on the Tivo ... I hope that she doesn't erase my "SpongeBob" episodes ...

DaisyMae Maus

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Don't be worried about the doors ...

Thanks to all who were concerned about our safety due to misunderstanding about our security doors. Our doors are WONDERFUL. We have a set of wrought iron doors on the outside of our regular doors. They have little holes that we can't climb on, but let in the breeze. Our doors are called Sears wrought iron security doors and they're dead-bolted when Mom's at work. Since they're on the outside, she can leave the house doors open, but the security doors locked. We can see outside, but no one can get in. If anyone tried, I think that I could bite 'em pretty good. I couldn't claw them very well though because everytime I get my claws good and sharp using my Alpine Scratcher, my mom clips my claws (and the Feline Americans' claws, too ... It's only fair!) down to little nubs.

The a/c has been on all day today, so no security doors were needed. We stayed nice and cool. Mom "crock-potted" some chicken, so we'll be feasting (Hint, hint!!!).

Stay cool, kitties (and visiting doggies, too)!
DaisyMae Maus

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Mom: Repeat after me ... "Leave on the a/c!!!"

I guess that yesterday's pork was a fluke because Mom just took a blue box out of the cupboard and has started nuking water for mac-n-cheez. Yuck. I'm not a fan of that dinner at all. She does look very tired, but she's home by 5 PM today instead of much, much later. It's very hot still and she didn't leave the a/c on today when she left for work ... she left the security doors locked, but left the front and back door open for ventilation. We can see out into the world, but we're safe from all that lurks outside. I missed the a/c. My bing-bing levels are kinda low today due to heat, so I'll have to make my feelings known to Mom so that we don't have a repeat of today ... Fur coats leave a lot to be desired when the humidity is so high and the air's not circulating like it should be.

Since Mom's having "the blue box" tonight for dinner, I think that I'll rally the troups and make some lobster-esque demands. She looks easy to manipulate tonight. I'll give extra cuddles in exchange for being so demanding. Mom works with bunches of teenagers. I've heard them in the neighborhood; they sound kinda rough. I'm glad that I'm securely ensconced in the house and they're OUTSIDE. The kids scare me ... Once, when Mom was carrying me to the car when the house was being fumigated (my cousin, the stupid dog, got us INFESTED), I was so nervous that I peed all over Mom and down the side of the SUV. How embarrassing!!! Luckily, Lucky Charmz hadn't even been adopted yet ... He'd never let me live it down. Uh, oh ... Did I really broadcast that humiliating moment into cyberspace??? I guess that I have a lot to learn ...

DaisyMae Maus

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

There musta been a sale ...

Guess what we had waiting for us tonight?? Give up?? Yep, it was a pork tenderloin. Wow. Two "pork nights" in four days!!! Mom must have read my blog and realized how much pork means to me (She might have even read some of the comments from the blogosphere! I thought that we were the only cats who savored the "other white meat"). It was "finger-chomping-good" and I had lots (pork and finger chomps)! Mom cooked it with rosemary and some other flavory-type stuff that I didn't understand. It made the whole house smell really wonderful ... The Feline Americans and I plotted ways to get at it while mom was slaving away at work. I really wish that I had a pair of those opposable thumbs (I'd even settle for polydactylism if it would help). I want to get myself into that Crock Pot! Mom said that we weren't having a treat tonight since she cooked some "people food" for us to share. Hmmmm .... Fudgie and Cocoa Puff and I had a lot of bites, but the other three didn't get any because they wouldn't come to the table to ask. I might have to point out this oversight to Mom. Perhaps my feline advocacy might lead to something split six ways??? I think that I'll risk it. I've seen inside the "treasure" cabinet. There are cans of Sheba and bunches of Temptations in there ... There are even some cat Greenies. I could go for some of those. I think that seafood medley would compliment the rosemary after-taste of the porky goodness quite nicely. If Mom doesn't pony up with the treats or a yummy can, I'm gonna trick Charmee into popping open the cabinet and grabbing a bag. Can you believe that he can open the bags himself? He is a major talent. Mom got smart and put most of our treats into a canister after Charmee sprinkled an entire bag of Cosmic Catnip through three ... no, make that four ... rooms in the house. He was in so much trouble!!! That reminds me, our scratching post needs another dusting of 'nip. I love to roll in it and then watch Sparky Fuzzypants streak around like he's loaded on "kitty crack" ... Does that make him a crack ho???? I'll have to ask Mom ...

Oooohhhh ... SCORE! It's treat time!! No shoving! LADIES first, you panty-waist neuter boys!! You can have my crumblies ...

DaisyMae (snarf, snarf) Maus

Monday, July 24, 2006


Whoo hoo ... Guess what? I managed to get my mom (the dingus) to fix the problems with my blog (MODERATION??? I never do anything in moderation ... My mom should know that by now. I do things in a BIG way!! I flick my tail at "moderation"!). Anyway, thank you to all of the cool cats on the 'Net who sent me suggestions on what to do to enable my comments ... You're the best! I'd like to give you big purry smooches, but I just had Sheba Blue Fin Tuna paté and my breath's a little skankier than usual. Would you settle for air-kisses instead? Moowwwuuhhhhhh. Consider yourselves smooched.

I've been really busy helping the Feline Americans to get their Catster pages organized. Lucky Charmz kept putting more and more photos up on his page. The little suck-up kept "posing" in his BBQ box and mom kept snapping away. I think that I'll hide his Eeeek! under the 'fridge to distract him so that I can get more photo time. After all, I am the only girl and I should have more photos since I'm mom's FAVORITE, right?

Anyway, you can find us at Catster. Mom has said that she'll add some of our predecessors ... We're "related" to some really great cats ... She even said that she'd put my brother up in the Catster universe first. You'd have liked him. He had plushy fur like Pumpkin, but he was white and black like a Dalmation dog. Mom used to call him "Polar-berry" ... Sniff, sniff ...

So, please visit my page (and those of my panty-waist neuter boys, too, I guess).

Stay cool and don't let this heat get your fur in a twist!

DaisyMae Maus

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus ... Cats are from UPS

We got a special delivery from the hot-n-sexy guy in the big, brown UPS panel truck. Mom ordered a special cooking vessel to fix our favorite white meat ... Pork. I don't understand why Sheba doesn't make a catfood paté in pork flavor ... It would sell out in seconds. The Feline-Americans and I LOVE pork. We love carnitas. We love bacon. We love barbequed pork from the Chinese take-out place (Fudgie loves pork so much that Mom calls him "Bob Cute Pork" ... I just think that he has good taste!). We'll even eat the ham that comes in the plastic baggies from the deli.

Anyway, the barbecue device is a Crock Pot barbeque machine that allows Mom to put some pork inside when she leaves in the morning and then have dinner ready to go when she returns. Little does she know that we skulk around the kitchen sniffing the aroma of the cooking pork like the "whisker sharks" that we are. She'd get really irritated if she knew that we were sitting on the counter ... watching. Mom calls us "whisker sharks" because we circle her legs en masse with our tails sticking straight up like shark's fins when we think that there's a chance for a tidbit or three. I used to think that it was because of the feeding frenzy that ensued whenever she yelled "snack!" or "can!". Silly me ...

Most of us were thrilled with the new purchase ... except Charmee and Sparky Fuzzypants. You can tell from the photo that Sparky was interested in examining his buns and Charmee claimed the box. Charmee's such a dunderhead. Food was imminent, but he wanted to play "box boy." That's okay, Charmee ... You just stay in your box while I enjoy your share of the porky goodness. MMMMMmmmmm ... I smell BACON!

Ahhhhh ... Air Conditioning is the greatest!

I've been overhearing everyone lamenting the unseasonably hot temperatures. Yes, it is awfully hot and humid. You'd think that we were in Miami except that there aren't any crocodiles lounging on the porch (thank goodness ... I'm not a fan of luggage on the hoof). Since Mom's home for the weekend, we've been living in the lap of luxury because we have central refrigeration here in the house and we're not afraid to use it. Rolling blackouts?? Pish. We'll combat the region's electricity blues by turning off the television and saving the laundry and dishwashing for after 7 PM during the week. The WEEKENDS are for laziness. Mom says that Saturdays and Sundays are for celebrating our inner "cats" and some of us are more "catty" than others. The weekends are too short though ... Tomorrow it's back to opening the windows and waiting 'til Mom gets home for some relief. Maybe I'll beg for a Popsicle or a cup of ice water. Mmmmm ... ice. If only I could keep that pinhead Charmee from splashing the ice out of the cup. I hate finding crumblies of cat litter in my drink.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Adventures with plumbers

For the past week, we've been inundated by plumbing guys. They've made tons of mistakes and have made our lives MISERABLE. Don't they understand that cats need air conditioning since we wear fur coats 24/7? They caused the dishwasher to overflow which messed up the tile and the wooden cabinets (even the one where OUR cans and snacks are kept), so now they have dehumidifiers running. The house smells like the litterbox after Cocoa Puff and Fudge have consumed too much water. Mom says that it smells like the Everglades ... Like she'd ever go somewhere where snakes and crocodiles live. She won't even go into the reptile house at the San Diego Zoo.

Speaking of Mom ... She looks really tired. Her job keeps her away for eleven hours at a time even though she only gets paid for seven and a half. She really needs to get some rest. Last night she almost forgot to give us our can. She made up for it by choosing shrimp paté. I'm hoping for that or rainbow trout tonight.

So far, there haven't been any visitors to my blog and I'm getting a little discouraged. I guess that no one is interested, so I guess that I'll just write for me. Until tomorrow ... Daisy

Saturday, July 15, 2006

R U a "bing-binger"? Got some to spare?

These hot days have zapped me of my bing-bing. I feel like a slug. A cool breeze would go a long way to restoring my natural "bingy-ness" ... Long ago, my mom nicknamed me "Bing-bing-a-ling" because of my energy. People have "mojo" ... cats have "bing-bing." My levels are low, low, low and I don't know what to do about it because I can't control the weather and I can't take off this fur coat.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Hot! Oh, so very hot!

My mom is great. It was horribly hot yesterday, so today she left the a/c on for the F.A. and me while she went to work. We had eleven glorious hours to nap in refrigerated comfort while she was gone. A good thing, too, because it was well over 80 degrees according to the temperature box (I checked).

I believe that I will cuddle extra close and purr extra loud at bedtime tonight to show my appreciation. Oh, and we had turkey tonight ... Not Sheba turkey; we had the REAL kind.

Fudgie was feeling especially creaky and arthritic due to the coldness in the house. I hope that he feels more like himself tomorrow. He's an older guy ...

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Yummy lobster ...

After Mom had a short rest and a bit of dinner, we ... got ... LOBSTER! Well, a Sheba 'lobster' flavored entree at least. I'm not complaining. I wonder what we'll get tonight?? It's after 8:30 PM and I've been nibbling on the kibbles between naps, so I'm RAVENOUS and could eat a horse. Hmmm ...

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Oh, crap ...

Well, I knew that she'd be kinda tired after her first day back at her "job." Little did I know that she'd be ticked off, too. Humans can be so touchy, but I guess that I should put myself in her place and think about the word "staff." I guess it does sound more like "hired help" than the one who supplies the boys and me with treats, cans, and big bags of kibble (she keeps us in the high-priced stuff) ... although I'm not too thrilled with weekly nail trims and that nasty smelling flea treatment.

So, okay ... UNCLE already. I'll call her "mom" if that'll make her happy and will keep her from locking me out of the bedroom. Sleeping in the hallway with Lucky Charmz pretty much sucks. He says that I snore. Right. Well, he runs in his sleep like a dog and his whiskers twitch. Don't get me started about Mr. Fuzzypants and the afghan ... He looks like he's kneading pizza dough.

Let's hope that tomorrow is less tiring because it's after 7:30 PM and we still haven't had our treat ... Time to start squawking. Maybe I can get Cocoa Puff motivated enough to open the cabinet ... I'm in the mood for LOBSTER.

Mom read my blog ...

Monday, July 10, 2006

Meet the "Feline Americans"

Each evening, I split a "treat" can of Sheba cat food ... I've noticed that many of you refer to this delight as "stinky goodness" ... with five panty-waist neuter-boys whom I've dubbed the "Feline Americans." IQ-wise, they're virtually interchangeable ... none holds a candle to my undeniable brilliance and charisma. However, looks and personality differ widely. So, let's meet the boys who share my digs:

The oldest is a seventeen-year-old wuss of a Maine Coon named FUDGE RIPPLE. He moved in on April 28, 1990 and is the last surviving member of the "Old Guard". He's afraid of his shadow, but does have INCREDIBLE taste in food. He's a master beggar and gets tidbits and table scraps on a daily basis to flesh out his skinny frame. When he heads for the kitchen table, I know to beat feet to my chair and make my presence known so that I can share in the wealth.

I, DAISYMAE MAUS, mistress of the house and all that I survey, come next in the age-ranking (although I'm obviously the top of the feline hierarchy, natch!) ... I'm nearly thirteen and my "gotcha-day" (thanks for the more accurate term than birthday) was December 31, 1997.

COCOA PUFF, aka Puffy Stuff, is a Siamese, but you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at him unless you heard his voice or got a good look at his skinny legs and tail. Puffy is nearly nine years old and weighs close to thirty pounds. His bite is far worse than his "tiny boy" bark portrays. He's a master manipulator and knows the words "can" and "snack" ... Which, in my book, makes him pretty bright. He screws up my opinion of him though by thinking that size equals power ... Nuh, uh ... No way. I'm the boss. Anyway, check out his picture. He's pretty good looking and has changed much from his kitten days when he looked like a FRUIT BAT. One of these days I'll have to sneak the pictures of him dressed in drag ... He was a riot and didn't know that when he won the Halloween costume contest that first prize was a free neutering. What a wonder-dummy!!!

SPARKY FUZZYPANTS just had his eighth anniversary of his "gotcha day" last week. He would be a prima donna if he weren't such a bonehead. In fact, a girl could get a complex hanging around a guy who's so pretty. Sparky talks to bugs and sings invitations to the local stray cats. I think that he's a real dingbat. I love to tease him and mock his grooming style. For a guy with a room-temperature IQ, Sparky does have a good memory ... And a mean left hook.

Oh, further evidence that Mr. Fuzzypants is a tad "off" ... Check out his SALAD!

Our token ginger is a five-year-old "teddy bear" named PUMPKIN. He's the strong, silent ... And kinda shy type. He spends most of his day under the bed in the master suite. He likes chasing Scrunchees and playing in piles of clean clothes (don't tell, but Pumpkin has a panty fetish). Since he's so shy, the only clear photo that I could scrounge up was a pretty embarrassing Christmas shot when Pumpkin was modeling a Rudolph Reindeer hood. Whoa. Not a good look, dude. The costume SERIOUSLY questions your masculinity, but I still think that you're sexy.

Finally, the bane of my existence and the biggest pain-in-the-butt that I've ever met is a Siamese-mix ... He's always calling my attention to his pretty blue eyes ...Rub my nose in it, whydon'tcha!!! Anyway, he's three years old and his name is LUCKY CHARMZ. The staff call him "Prince Charming" ... What a crock! There's nothing charming about him. He monopolizes the toys. He makes the "treat" divisible by SIX instead of by FIVE. He sneaks in and sleeps on MY bed. And, I'm ashamed to admit, he can beat me up. There. I've said it. My Achilles' Heel is ... Lucky. Drat.

Lucky Charmz says: Hey everyone. Look! Maus has a blog ... Stay tuned for missives from me as I plan to pirate her blog whatever chance I get. Bwah ha ha ...

DaisyMae Maus: HEY! Back off, you flashy little TWIT! This blog is MINE! Get your own ... If you've got the cojones ... Didn't think so ... Oh, yeah ... I forgot that you've been neutered. Neener, neener!!

By the way, tonight we had chicken split six ways ...

Time flies when we're "on vacation" ...

I'm bummed. Today is the last day of my human's vacation and I'm just not ready! The alarm will sound tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock and the routine of "shower, make-up, breakfast, dressing, gone" resumes. As soon as she pulls out of the driveway to head to her "job" (whatever THAT means), I'll take up residence on the front windowsill until she returns. She'll be exhausted (or so she'll claim), so I'll try not to trip her in the doorway. I will, of course, scan her for treats and/or toys.

There are only two good things about tomorrow being the first day back: First, "job" comes with money for treats and/or toys; and second, then there are only eleven weeks until the next vacation! I think that I can manage, but it'll be rough. I'll have to keep my strength up by harassing those panty-waist neuter-boys ...