Tonight is Open House at Mom's school ... AGAIN!!! Already!!!
As you're aware, Mom hates Open House an' I really hate that she often works a fifteen hour day that day.
In honor of Mom's day of torture, I'm presentin' ...
Thirteen Things That I'd Say To Parents At Open House If Cats Could Teach High School
1. Convert the basement because you're gonna be supportin' your child for the next fifty or so years of YOUR life.
2. School ... for your child ... ends at 4 PM because he's going to be servin' detention for this entire year.
3. I hope that you bought stock in Pink Pearl 'cuz your kid makes tons of mistakes.
4. Did you drop her on her head?
5. I have two words for you: Social Promotion.
6. I've hacked up more intelligent hairballs.
7. Teens should be spayed or neutered!
8. Sparky Fuzzypants is brighter than your kid an' he's got a room-temperature IQ!
9. Did you drop her on her head?
10. Now that I've met you, I understand why your son says and does such stupid stuff in my class.
11. Your daughter has the morals of an alley cat (!) an' dresses like a tramp!
13. And ... Did you drop her on her head?