1. Uncle James got a speeding ticket in the first five hours of the trip. Grandad pitched fit number one of far too many to count.
2. Foghorns kept Mom up all night at the Morro Bay campground (AND she saw some vishus deer!). Firewood cost $7.00 for five pieces. Grandma an’ Grandad’s bargain inflatable mattress didn’t inflate. Mom’s sleeping bag was too short so she had to use a beach towel an’ SpongeBob fleece throw to keep from freezing to death overnight.
3. Highway 1 was beautiful, but took hours and hours to drive causing Mom to miss out on camping at Russian Gulch ‘cuz it was still more than three hours away by dusk on the second day. Grandad pitched his second fit in two days forcing him to be exiled to Mom’s car as a “time-out” ...
4. LAWSON’S LANDING ... This is a whole post in itself.
5. Trees of Mystery closes at 6 o’clock each evening. Mom arrived at 6:07 PM. Paul Bunyan didn’t say “Howdy, howdy, howdy” ... He said, “We open at 9 o’clock tomorrow morning.”
6. Jedediah Smith campground was FULL ... sigh. Vishus deer were present an’ were probably laughing their antlers off.
7. Got lost in Salem, OR, looking for Zoey an’ the Furballs’ house ... Yahoo Maps SUCK.
8. No more rooms at the Guest House & Suites in Tumwater, WA. Mom used many bad words, but was grateful for a...
9. Motel 6 ... Three nights. Short curtains. No cable. No seat lid on the toilet. Cops in the parking lot when Mom arrived.
10. Food poisoning ... No more Costco salads EVER an’ seeing billboards of KFC make Mom’s stomach lurch. Schlepped over to Grandma an’ Grandpa’s room at the Guest House & Suites. Horribly uncomfortable foam mattress. 7-UP an’ soda crackers diet causes Mom to lose about ten pounds in thirty-six hours. Cops in the parking lot when Mom left.
11. Coeur D’Alene casino “lost” Grandma’s reservations causing her to have a minor meltdown in the lobby; Uncle James an’ Lori stayed with Aunt Montie an’ Uncle Harold (an’ Whimpy an’ Tribles). Mom saw vishus deer.
12. Tight slots at casino. Smokers smoked in Mom’s non-smoking hotel room.
13. Gas cost $3.69 and 9/10ths per gallon in Bakersfield, CA: Highway robbery! Oh, an’ more sightings of vishus deer. LA traffic on the I-5 makes Mom very grateful for a black masheen that sips gasoline. She gets from Bakersfield to home on less than half a tank (‘bout five an’ a half gallons).