Mom just got home and she looks whipped.
"Meow!" (Welcome back, Mom!)
"Meow!" (Come and sit by me! I'll tell you about my day!)
"Meow!" (I could use a pet or two!)
"Meeooowwww!" (If you won't talk to me, would you at least give me some Temptations®?)
She just sighed ("Hrrrmmmpph ...") before stalking into the bedroom to put down her sweater and school bag.
She didn't say ANYTHING to me when she went to check the messages on the speakin' box.
No messages. Good. Maybe NOW she has some time to chat with me on the couch.
"Meow, meow, meow ... ick?" (What's the matter, Mom? Woofie get your tongue?)
"Meow, wow??" (C'mon ... You can tell me.)
And here's what she said:
"Maus, today pretty well sucked. I'm glad that it's over. My ninth graders have lost their minds. My school is going to hell in a handbasket."
"Meow?" (And why do you think this?)
"Well, let me break it down for you:
The principal's secretary, two weeks before she officially retires, tripped in the main office and broke her hip this morning.
The father of one of my ninth graders was badly injured at his job when heated plastic blew up in his face giving him massive burns. Life-Flight had to take him to the hospital this morning.
Two of my ninth grade boys violated their probation and are now supposedly in juvie. Neither is a member of the "brain trust," so will likely continue on this path until they do something that gets them killed. This is an on-going problem.
One of my ninth grade girls was caught having sex (during the time she was supposed to be in MY CLASS) in the park across the street. The police issued her a citation and she'll have to appear in court. Heaven help us all if she is pregnant.
When a teacher confiscated his cell phone during second period today, another of my little charmers threatened to "punch the teacher in the face." This is the same child who drives around my neighborhood with other kids in the car. He's too young to have a learners' permit. He's unlicensed and uninsured ... And his parents are okay with this as he picks up his mom from work.
Still another of my sterling citizens was caught drinking in the boys' restroom. He had brought a ninth grade girl with him. He popped a .24 BA level and she was more than .40 BA level. She had to be rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. He's been suspended for five days and will likely return to school tomorrow having learned NOTHING from this experience.
Oh, and I gave a practice CAHSEE (California High School Exit Exam) to my seniors in first period. The highest grade was 50%. They have to PASS this test in order to graduate. Graduation is two weeks from today."
Wow. No wonder you look so defeated, Mom. Your day DID suck. I won't bring up the hairball that Sparky Fuzzypants gacked up under your wicker chair. Or the fact that Cocoa Puff peed on the carpet again. Or that Charmee ate a piece of licorice ('cept that I've got PHOTOS of that!) ...
"Meow, meow." (C'mere Mom. Sit by me and give me a pet.)
"Meow-oww." (Tomorrow will be better.)
"Maus: From your lips to God's ears ...".
"Meeooowwww!" (Would you give me some Temptations® now?)