Life is my litterbox ... Grab the SCOOP!

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Par-Tay over here!

Yes. It's FINALLY here! Today is my 13th "gotcha"-versary and I'm happy to extend an invitation to my party this afternoon. If you'd like to teleport over at 4 PM Pacific Time for cake (vanilla-'nip with cream cheese frosting decorated with Temptations®), Culligan ice water, and vanilla ice cream, I think that you'll be finished eating in time to go to Grr, Midnight & Cocoa's Temptations® New Year's Eve party.

My "gotcha"-versary party will be low-key. There will be dancin', but I don't want you to get too tired before tonight's festivities. No presents, please ... Your presence is "present" enough.

BTW: 'Nip-heads ... Please don't roll in the cake. It's for eatin'.

Midnight got her Temptations® prize pack ALREADY!

Three cheers to the lady (and the man) in the bloo shorts for getting Midnight's Temptations® prize pack to her in less than 24 hours! I rushed Mom on Friday after the Feline Americans and I did our shoppin' at PetSmart. I wanted the winner of my very first contest (200th POST!) to have the package as soon as possible, but I never imagined that it would arrive there THIS FAST! I have to show you ...

Here are Midnight (and Grr and Cocoa) investigating the contents of the prize pack! Thanks to the Lady of Grr, Midnight & Cocoa for taking (and posting) these fabulous photos!

There will be more contests in the future with FABULOUS PRIZES, so be sure that you enter each and efurry one of them for a chance to be the WINNER!!!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

DaisyMae's "Word of the Day": A** BLASTER

Here's another informative vocabulary lesson to build your FELINE LEXICON ...

From DaisyMae's Feline Dictionary of Terms and Phrases, the word of the day is:

A** BLASTER (noun) ... aaaaaaa-sssss bl-aaaaaaa-stur ... The foul-smelling gas (chemically known as methane) passed through the rectal/anal orafice directly beneath the tail of a feline (or other mammal). This gas can be passed loudly as a "poot" or stealthily resulting in the wrinkling up of human faces combined with a vocalization of "Eeewwwww, (insert name here)."

Synonyms: fart, toot, break wind, SBD (silent, but deadly)

Sentence example:
1. As a baby, Lucky Charmz was so smelly that he was nicknamed "Mr. Blaster" for his ability to clear a room.
2. Cocoa Puff is no longer allowed to eat chili or refried beans due to the resulting as* blasters that are potent enough to cause temporary amnesia.

Resolutions ... disclaimer/clarification

Okay ... I must clarify the list of resolutions found in the previous post. The resolutions were merely for educational purposes. I'm NOT gonna do any of those resolutions because I am perfect the way I am and Mom ... to quote the immortal 'SuperChicken' ... "knew the job was dangerous when (s)/he took it."

Friday, December 29, 2006

It's my 200th post: WHOO HOO!

Concatulations to Midnight of Grr, Midnight & Cocoa who accurately guessed that I'd make my 200th post TODAY, December 29th. Midnight was a bit off time-wise, but date-wise right on the money.

If you go to Grr, Midnight & Cocoa's blog, you'll see their "winner" banner! It announces Midnight's triumphant win!

Midnight sent my mom a home address so that the FABULOUS Temptations® prize pack could be shipped out right away (The lady in the bloo shorts took the box at 4:30 PM today).

Mom let me see what was in the prize pack ... I must say that it totally lives up to the "FABULOUS" adjective. There's a bunch of really great stuff in there including every flavor of Temptations including Dentabites!
Don't you wish that you had entered the contest?

Anyway, enough discussion on the fabulous prize that Midnight just won ... Hmmm ... I hope that Midnight's mom posts pictures of Midnight enjoying that prize pack! Charge up the batteries in that camera! DMM

Being "perfect" as we are, cats are loathe to come up with appropriate resolutions for the New Year's Eve round-up (you know ... when everyone's sitting around the table with little strips of paper writin' down what they plan to do differently in the new year.) So, after scouring the internet for HOURS, I've come up with a list cobbled from various sources. Being the humble and self-effacing cat that I am, I'll take full credit for the list (bwahh, haa, haaaaaa ... ).


1. I will not flush the toilet while my human is in the shower.

2. I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my humans watch a horror movie.

3. I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.

4. I will not lean over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then run screaming into the box of clumping cat litter.

5. I will not use the humans' bathtub to store live mice and lizards (yes, Daisy ... ) for late-night snacks.

6. I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and barf them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.

7. My human will never let me eat her pet hamsters or fish, and I am at peace with that.

8. I will not help myself to Q-tips, and I will not attempt to stuff them down the drain to dispose of them.

9. I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare into her eyes until she wakes up.

10. As fast as I am, I must remember that I cannot run through closed doors.

11. I will not back up off the front porch and fall into the bushes just as my human is explaining to his girlfriend how graceful I am.

12. I will remember that I am a walking static generator. My human does not need my help installing a new board in her computer.

13. I will remember that my human really will wake up and feed me. I do not have to pry his eyelids open with my claws.

14. I will remember that a warm pepperoni pizza box is not a good place for a nap!

15. I will not leap into my human's chair which she has temporarily vacated, and then bite my human on the tush when she sits back down.

16. We will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti over our humans' bed (or down the hallway) while they're trying to sleep.

17. I will not sniff at my male human's feet after he takes his shoes off, freeze my mouth open in disgust and then sniff my private parts to compare odors. My female human might find it amusing, but my male human does not appreciate it, especially in front of company.

18. I will not bite my human on the rear while she is sitting on the Big White Drinking Bowl, nor will I perch myself in the underwear sling created while the human is in that position.

19. I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.)

20. I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has finished watching The X-Files reruns or Supernatural.

21. When my human is taking a bubble bath, the two pinkish-brown things sticking up out of the bubbles in her chest region are NOT to be attacked!

22. I will not drag dirty socks up from the basement in the middle of the night, deposit them on the bed and yell at the top of my lungs so that my human can admire my "kill."

23. I will not knead my male human's groin at 2:00AM with claws extended. (It seems to cause him some discomfort and he wakes up all grumpy.)

24. Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.

25. I am a (neutered) cat, not a peacock, and prancing around with my tail fluffed up will not make my hoo-ha grow back.

26. I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

27. I will not complain that my butt is wet and that I am thirsty after sitting in my water bowl.

28. I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

29. If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

30. It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it dissolves in boiling coffee.

31. When I am chasing my tail and catch my back leg instead, I will not bite own on my foot. This hurts, and my scream scares my human.

32. When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door. Birds do not come from the bird feeder. I will not knock it down and try to open it up to get the birds out.

33. I will not stuff my rather large self into the rather small bird feeder (with my tail hanging out one side) and expect the birds to just fly in.

34. I will not teach the parrot to meow in a loud and raucous manner.

35. The dog can see me coming when I stalk her. She can see me and will move out of the way when I pounce, letting me smash into floors and walls. That does not mean I should take it as a personal insult when my humans sit there and laugh.

36. Yes, there are still two very large dogs in the backyard. There have been for several years. I don't have to act as if I've just discovered the Demon Horror of the Universe each time one of them appears in my window.

37. I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.

38. When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.

39. I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when she's on the family room floor trying to do sit ups.

40. When my human is typing at the computer, her forearms are not a hammock.

41. I will not bring the city police to the front door by stepping on the speaker phone button and then the automatic 911 dial button.

42. I will not speed dial the overseas numbers, and I will not hang up the phone when my human's using the "speakerphone."

43. The goldfish likes living in water and should be allowed to remain in its bowl.

44. I will not eat plants and then hallucinate behind the toilet.

45. I will not drag the magnets (and the papers they are holding up) off of the refrigerator and then bat them underneath it so that they adhere to the underside.

46. I will learn to relax at the vet's office so they will start writing things in my records like "Good Kitty" and "Sweet Kitty" instead of the stuff that's there now like "MEAN!!", "BITER!!!", and "CALL FOR HELP!!!!!"

47. I don't need to check my male human's aim in the bathroom.

48. I will not be miffed at my human all day and then kiss her on the nose at 2:00AM to tell her that she is forgiven and can now pet me.

49. If I MUST claw my human, I will not do it in such a fashion that the scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

50. If I must give a present to my humans's overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a live cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty.

51. I will not soak my catnip toy in the water bowl to make tea. I will not get high and sit there drinking my tea and kneading the floor afterwards. I will not then get delusions of grandeur and make tea in the toilet bowl or the tub. And I will not try to make tea with used socks, dirty panties or hair scrunchies when my humans take the catnip toy away from me (Pumpkin, this means YOU!).

52. I promise I will meditate more closely upon the causal relationship between going dumpster diving on Sunday afternoon and projectile vomiting Monday, and being brought to the Evil Place Where They Stick Things Up My Butt on Tuesday evening. I realize that if I hadn't done the first, none of the other things would have happened.

53. I will not walk on the keyboard when my human is writing important emio gnaioerp ga3qi4 taija3tgv aa35 a

54. If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.

55. Television and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

56. The canned cat food is already dead. I do not need to kill it by swatting bits of it all over the floor.

57. I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.

58. The hamster likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly.

59. No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my human's earrings are not cat toys.

60. My human is capable of cooking bacon and eggs without my help.

61. My human is capable of making the bed without my help.

62. I am a carnivore. Potted and/or silk plants are not meat.

63. I will never be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall and screaming at it will not bring it any closer.

64. If my human wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a piece. She will notice if I start eating it from the other end. Taking my own bites is rude.

65. The large dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will not freak out every time I see it.

66. Just because I hear voices in my head, I do not have to answer them!

67. I will not hide behind the toilet so that I can pat the human on the backside when he sits down just to make him levitate.

68. If I sit in the sink while my human is brushing his teeth, I will not get angry when he spits toothpaste on me.

69. I will not attempt to stop the human's snoring by sticking my paws into his mouth.

70. I will not use my psychic powers to project myself into my human's dreams when I am hungry, causing her to dream that I am a talking cat, and I can say "Where's my supper?"

71. I will not run through the house with a condom wrapper in my mouth when my human's grandmother is visiting.

72. When my young humans are playing with modeling clay, I will not remove solid waste from my litter tray and roll it onto the kitchen floor.

73. I will not display my worm collection on the kitchen floor on a rainy night. My human does not like finding it with her bare feet.

74. I will not give the V-E-T a urine or stool sample unless he requests it.

75. I will remember that any critter that lives in the house, like hamsters, stays in the house; and any critters that live outside, like frogs and lizards, stay outside. I am not allowed to set the hamster free in exchange for finding a frog to put in the fish tank.

76. I will not fish out my human's partial plate from the glass so that the dog can "wear" it and pretend to be my human. (It is somewhat unnerving to wake up, roll over in bed, and see the dog grinning at you with your own teeth.)

77. I will not intrude on my human's candle-lit bubblebath and singe my butt.

78. I will no longer attempt to read my human's book or newspaper by sitting my butt down on it. I will never grow eyes there, no matter how hard I try. And that's probably a good thing, too.

Friday Feast #1: The Last Feast of 2006 is my first ...

Friday, December 29, 2006
Feast One Hundred & Twenty Four
As a cat, I don't get out much. But I am fairly observant of what goes on in my mom's life and she holds regular conversations with me where she asks about my day and I ask about hers. So I'm going to do the Friday Feast based on what I've seen happen in Mom's life during the past year.

How do you usually celebrate on New Year's Eve?
Eating snacks while avoiding the typical New Year's Eve programming. Mom's not a fan of Dick Clark or Time's Square or crystal ball-thingies that fall from the sky. She usually goes to bed while the Tijuaneros fire off their handguns ...

Name one thing unexpected that happened to you in 2006.
Two things really colored Mom's year:
Mom got mugged ... at gunpoint ... on May 22nd.
Mom was named "teacher of the year" for her site and her district.

Where was your favorite place that you visited in 2006?
Mom took a first-class plane trip up to Seattle on August 25 - 27. She visited Tolmie State Park for her cousin's 90th birthday. This was a highlight of her year.

Main Course
What resolution is your top priority for 2007?
Mom's number one priority is putting money away in her mutual fund, 457, and 403b accounts so that she can retire in sixteen years.

Using just three words, describe 2006.
change ... change ... change

For those of you keeping score, this is post #199!
The Temptations prize pack is ready to go to some lucky winner!
Who will it be?

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #2! You say you wanna RESOLUTION?

Mom let me share her New Year's resolutions as my Thursday Thirteen this week (she said that it was because I always make the same one each year and then break it by January 2nd [how's that for a negative attitude??]).

Anyway, these are the thirteen things that Mom vows to do/accomplish/change during the calendar year 2007.

1. Take a trip in a hot-air balloon (even if it's tied down like at the San Diego Wild Animal Park). Whoop it up and act adventuresome!

2. Buy, and then wear, nicer shoes (not the same boring UGLY flats, Mom).

3. Finish the projects with the yarn (she accomplished part already by donating a ton of yarn to Diva Kitty and the Fluffies).

4. Dial down the sarcasm (especially in the presence of students).

5. Take another trip to Seattle ... fly first-class again, but not necessarily in the Disney plane. Bring us back smoked salmon.

6. Resume walking "for exercise" AND ride bicycle on occasion.

7. Enter -- and complete -- a second half-marathon with a faster walking time than last time (3:43:43 was pitiful).

8. Be satisfied with the outcome of her mugger's trial and not "go all vigilante on him" if he's acquitted. She's mentioned a "burny, poke-y place in Hell" ... and the fact that she would like to see him rot there. Not good for the karma, but ...

9. Lose 25 pounds (not the same pound twenty-five times ... hee, hee!).

10. Add another 7K to the mutual fund (more if feasible); update to the maximum amount in 457 account. Save, save, save for retirement and to keep us in Sheba® and cat litter.

11. Donate clothing and shoes to Goodwill before January 31st to free up some storage.

12. Go camping (in a tent!) at least once ... bring Aerobed. Leave us AT HOME! Camping is for doggies (or kitties who don't know better).

13. Don't have a total meltdown on 40th birthday (although she does have gray hair and wear Transitions® bifocals). Stay away from "boy toys" and "midlife-crisis" purchases. Conversely, don't bathe in Oil of Olay or start mainlining Metamucil and prune juice cocktails. Moderation, miss ... moderation.

DaisyMae's ONE New Year's Resolution:
" I, DaisyMae Maus, here to for known as 'her royal highness,' promise NOT to kick the Feline Americans' butts whenever they look at me funny, eat the last treat, stink up the poo-poo boxes, shed fur near me, play with MY catnip toys, breathe, ... blink too loudly.

Okay, Okay. Picky ... Oh, well. I promise NOT to kick a single Feline American butt during 2007.

Gosh, this is gonna be really hard because Cocoa Puff is snoring and Charmee is blinking at me really loudly! Argh ... MUST ... NOT ... KICK ... ANY ... BUTTS! I don't think that I can control my "butt-kicking" impulses ... This is going to be a really long 2007 if I don't get to kick any one of the Feline Americans' butts ... Volunteers?"

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

The pre-feetball nap!

Lucky Charmz and me ... sitting on grand-dad's lap ... for our pre-feetball game nap. Grand-dad is all wrapped up in an afghan crocheted by Mom's friend, Elaine. She made it especially for Christmas of 2004, but didn't give them out until May of 2005. We LOVE this afghan 'cuz it feels like our kitty mamas. We make biscuits on grand-dad's lap until he's properly tenderized and then we settle in for a good sleep. Charmee prefers laying on his legs (to keep him from wigglin' or getting up for a drink of water) and I nestle in on his chest matching him snore-for-snore.

If you teleport in for naptime, we'll save you a place on the afghan near his left hand (for pets) on by his feet.

Hmm ... It's about time for another nap AND it's windy/rainy here in "sunny" San Diego. Where's grand-dad????


Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Toozday is "Breaking News"-day!

As of 12:01 AM today, guessing about when my 200th post will be has closed. When will that 200th post be posted? I dunno, but I can tell you that THIS post is number 196 and there will certainly be a winner of a fabulous Temptations® prize pack sometime fairly soon. Keep your eyes and ears open for that announcement ...

In other San Diego news ...

San Diego Chicken Named Bay Balloon Parade Grand Marshal
12-26-2006 5:52 AM

(San Diego, CA) -- The Holiday Bowl Committee, sponsor of the "Big Bay Balloon Parade" Thursday, has announced that the famous San Diego Chicken will serve as grand marshal for the 16th annual event.

Ted Giannoulas, then a student at San Diego State University, created the San Diego Chicken character 32 years ago as a stunt for a local radio station. He's been performing at San Diego Padres games and a host of other events ever since.

The parade gets under way at 10 o'clock Thursday morning on Pacific Coast Highway, starting at Cedar Street and heading south to Broadway. This year's parade theme is "It's a Wacky World." Tens of thousands of spectators are expected to turn out for the parade which bills itself as the largest inflatable figure parade in the country. This year's parade will feature 32 giant balloons including several Sesame Street characters such as "Bert and Ernie" and "Miss Piggy," and "Clifford the Big Red Dog."

The 90-minute parade will be broadcast on Channel 4 San Diego and an hour-long edited version will be re-aired on Friday at 9:00 a.m. on the USA Network.

The 29th annual Holiday Bowl game Friday afternoon features the University of California Golden Bears playing the Texas A&M University Aggies. The game gets under way at 5:00 p.m. at Qualcomm Stadium and will be broadcast nationally on ESPN.
Copyright 2006 Metro Networks Communications Inc., A Westwood One Company

World Famous San Diego Chicken's Website

Monday, December 25, 2006

200th Post contest ends at 12:01 AM Pacific Time on 12/26/2006!

Efurryone! You've only got a little more than an hour to get in your guess for our 200th post contest! Hurry!

SECRET PAWS! Thank you to Victor Tabbycat & Bonnie Underfoot, and to Millie!

Christmas FINALLY came and we got to open our Secret Paws packages that have been sitting beneath tree-zilla for what seems like AGES!


Millie was the Secret Paw for Fudge Ripple, Cocoa Puff, and me ... all the way from New Hampshire, no less! She sent a big, big box that was very mysterious and tempting. When we opened the box, much to our surprise, it had a wrapped present inside! Mom helped us get the wrapping paper off and then open the box.
Inside was oodles of green and purple shredded paper that was VERY fun to play with. Mom let us enjoy the paper for a little while and then reminded us that the paper wasn't the present ... the little Chinese food boxes held the presents. But ... we were having too much fun playing in the empty box with the paper shreds ... So we continued to ignore Mom until she started opening the take-out boxes for us.

"Okay, guys ... enough with the shredded paper: Open the presents already!"
"Oooooo ... neat!"
Three cats and three to-go boxes.
"One for each of us!" "What's inside?" "What's inside?"
"Open 'em up and you'll see!"

Wow! How wonderful! We have lots of great stuff inside those little boxes: Fancy Feast (yummy!), purple and green Petco ping-pong balls to chase around the living room carpet (and they make noise, too!), crinkle balls that are perfect for laying on (the boys think that laying on the crinkle balls will get them to "hatch." Fev-ver butt mousies to knock about like hockey pucks. Yum! Feline Greenies, too! Mmmmm ... What's that delicious smell? I ... SMELL ... COSMIC CATNIP! Oh, oh ... Gimme some! Three specially made catnip pouches! Milly's lady made them for us and they're wonderful for sniffin', batting around the living room, and acting CRAZY with! Thank you so much, Milly! These were wonderful Secret Paws presents! Your presents helped to make it our best Christmas EVER!

Not to be outdone, we had a Secret Paws package from Victor Tabbycat and Bonnie Underfoot all the way from Whisker-consin. It's been sitting under tree-zilla for nearly two weeks and Mom's been torturing us with it. We've been smelling the box and knocking the box over to hear it rattle and jingle. From the sounds and the smells, we KNEW that there was something wonderful inside. It was addressed to Sparky Fuzzypants, Pumpkin, and Lucky Charmz. Charmee couldn't wait to open it and get at what was inside!

More wonderful goodies! There were two cans of our favorite catfood: Sheba. We got lobster and filet mignon flavors which we're certain to enjoy very soon.

Looky! Temptations in our favorite flavor: GREEN (Seafood Medley)! Whoo hoo! And there was even a hot pink plastic case FULL of wonderful goodies to play with. There are pink jingle balls to sock under the refrigerator and behind the litter boxes (when we "lose" them, Mom has to crawl around on her belly to find them so that we'll stop whining for them).

There was a fun fabric worm on an elastic cord with a little fishing pole attached. We LOVE to play "cat-fishing" with stuff like that. Charmee already tried to claim it as his, but we'll be sharing it ... thankyouverymuch.

We got some ground catnip to spread on our Alpine Scratcher (it needed new catnip badly). Plus a bunch of squishy toys that smell catnippy already (Yum!). To round out a WONDERFUL Secret Paws is a bag of furry mice (pink and white ones!). I can't wait to pounce on them!

Thank you, Victor and Bonnie! We love our presents and you, too! Thanks for sending them ...

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Taking a cue from Skeezix the Cat ... Peaceful Christmas, Efurryone!

'Twas the Night Before Christmas --

'Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
not even a mouse.

'Cuz the cat had pounced on him
and tore him apart-
Ate his mousey intestines
And chewed up his heart.

Kitty thought he heard sleighbells,
which made him take pause --
He stopped daintily licking
the blood from his claws.

"Must be Santa" thought Kitty
(that quite clever cat!)
'Cuz nobody else climbs down
the chimney like that.

Indeed it was ol' Santa,
so jolly and fat
With a load of presents
and all for the cat!

"Wow, the best Christmas ever!"
Kitty thought with a purr,
Then he coughed up a hairball
and shed some more fur.
-- Author Unknown

To Efurry fluffy in the blogosphere ...
We wish you a safe, snuggly, and satisfying Christmas
full of all that this joyous holiday has to offer.
Mistletoe smooches to you and your family (human, fluffy, and otherwise)!

Your best friends,
DaisyMae Maus, Fudge Ripple, Cocoa Puff,
Sparky Fuzzypants, Pumpkin, Lucky Charmz ... and Mom

Saturday, December 23, 2006

DaisyMae's "Word of the Day": WALK-BY GWABBING

Here's another informative vocabulary lesson to build your FELINE LEXICON ...

From DaisyMae's Feline Dictionary of Terms and Phrases, the phrase of the day is:

WALK-BY GWABBING (noun) ... wah-k bye gwahb-bing ... A subtle sneak-attack made by a human on a feline when the human wants to do something to the feline that the feline doesn't like and would otherwise hide to avoid (ie. clippy claws, combing, Advantage application, dingleberry removal).

Sentence example:
1. Mom instituted a walk-by gwabbing on Cocoa Puff because he had poo-poo feet and dingleberries that needed immediate attention.
2. Despite the walk-by gwabbing, DaisyMae Maus was still slippery enough to evade Mom and avoid clippy claws ... for about five minutes.

Friday, December 22, 2006

The Feline Americans' favorite Christmas story

Mom had this wonderful little Christmas book from when she was a very little girl, but as she grew older, the book disappeared. A few years ago, she found a reprint of the book at a Borders bookstore and had to buy it to share with us. The new copy is missing the sandpapery feel on the cover that the original book had and it's missing the color crayon squiggles that Mom's brother made in the book when he was a tiny boy, but the story is the same. It's our favorite ... So here, without permission of the author (yep, being naughty), is the story of "Santa Mouse."

The Story of Santa Mouse
By Michael Brown

Once there was a little mouse, who didn't have a name.
He lived in a great big house, this mouse,
the only mouse in the whole wide house.
He day-dreamed he had playmates who were friendly as could be.
The little girls would bring their dolls, and dress up and have tea.
The boys would play at cowboys or Eskimo or Spanish.
But when he tried to touch them like a bubble they would vanish.
Now through the years this little mouse
had saved one special thing.
A piece of cheese -- the kind that makes an angel want to sing.
And so that night as he brushed his teeth
and washed his tiny paws.
He said my goodness no-one gives a gift to Santa Claus.
So he ran to get his piece of cheese and after he had found it,
Some paper from some chewing gum he quickly wrapped around it.
And then he climbed in bed and dreamed that he was lifted high,
And woke up to find that he was looking right in Santa's eye.
Thank you for my gift he said now tell me what's your name,
I haven't any said the mouse.
You haven't, that's a shame.
You know I need a helper as I travel house to house.
And I shall give a name to you, I'll call you Santa mouse.
So here's your beard and here's your suit
and here's each tiny shiny boot.
You mustn't sneeze and you mustn't cough,
Now put them on and we'll be off.
Then over all the rooftops on a journey with no end,
Away they went together, Santa and his tiny friend.
And so this Christmas if you please,
Beneath that tree that's in your house,
Why don't you leave a piece of cheese.
You know who'll thank you,

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Thursday Thirteen #1!

I've been wantin' to participate in the "Thursday Thirteen" for about six months, but Mom wouldn't approve a single one of my suggestions.

What's wrong with "Thirteen different shapes of litterbox poops" or the "Thirteen items in the house that Fudgie HASN'T peed on"?

Mom said that those ideas weren't appropriate topics of conversation (let alone blog postings) to be made by "young lady cats" like myself. Bah. I think that she's just jealous that she hadn't thought of them first.

But after seeing the past two "Thursday Thirteens" posted by one of the most famous celebrity bloggers on the internet, Darling Millie herself, Mom has relented by approving today's topic: Snowmen!

A little background: Mom collects snowmen. She has LOTS of snowmen that she displays each and every Christmas (and adds to the horde each year).

As a rule, we've made it a policy to leave the snowmen alone ... That was until Lucky Charmz joined the Feline Americans three Christmases ago.

The following thirteen snowmen have been knocked down, tasted, rubbed up on, or otherwise bothered by Lucky Charmz in recent weeks and therefore, have been claimed as "favorites."

1. Postman Snowman: Mom made two of these last year and gave one to Joe, the man in the bloo shorts, who brings our packages.

2. Primative Snowman: A wooden gift that's much heavier than he looks (and far less tasty).

3. Blue Clay Snowman was selected when Mom was in her royal blue phase. Charmee likes how smooth he is. He's had the bitey put on him.

4. Patriotic Snowman: He was purchased for Christmas 2001 for obvious reasons.

5. Buckethead Stuffed Snowman came in a big purple bag from a place called "Hallmark" ... Charmee jumped into the bag with this snowman and got him furry.

6. This pair of Stuffed Snowman Children Mom bought this year because they coordinate with a fleece blanket that her colleague gave to her years ago. We like the fleece blanket, so by extention, we like the snowmen, too.

7. Snowball Snowman has been knocked on the floor at least a dozen times by Charmee. The Snowball Snowman is virtually indestructable by cats. Must be made of Kryptonite® or somethin'.

8. The "I Love Winter" snowman plaque hangs directly above the fishtank. Charmee likes to lay on top of the fishtank for two reasons: Menacing the fish and keeping toasty. When he stands on the fishtank lid and stretches, he can reach the plaque.

9. Brick Snowman was made by Mom at a craft party held by her area superintendent back in October. He (the snowman, natch) sits on MY fireplace hearth. I have cleaned my teeth on him claiming him as MINE. I also like his fleece ... very softy.

10. Plushy Snowman Family that hangs on the drapery rod represents Grandma and her brother/sisters. There are five snowmen and five siblings. It's high up enough that we can only look ... not touch.

11. Flakes Snowman ornament came from ... someone. We don't know who for sure, but we like this ornament because Mom is kinda flaky sometimes when she forgets our can of stinky goodness until it's really late at night or she accidentally locks one of us in the computer room. An' we like our flakes in a bowl with milk.

12. Grandpa Snowman was made at the same time as the Postman Snowman. Our grand-dad was in the US Navy for a long time. Mom's favorite picture of him was when he was about 18 years old, shaved bald, and wearin' a Dixie cup cap. We like it 'cuz it's grand-dad.

13. Snowman Sled is a favorite because the stupid vishus deer riding on the back of the snowman's sled isn't gonna be eating anything other than frozen water when he finally catches up to that snowman at the bottom. Vishus deer are stupid.

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