Friday's Feast #9

Appetizer: Where on your body do you have a scar, and what caused it?

Well, being a spayed female, I have a scar on my belly from the surgery to remove my "feminine parts" and save me from pregnancies. However, Mom has better stories about two of her scars:

Mom says, "I have a scar just above my upper lip. Here's the story ... My closet used to have a single shelf above the clothes rod on which I stacked my shoes ensconsed in their matching plastic boxes. One evening, while trying to get a pair of gray snakeskin pumps down, I accidentally caused ALL of the shoes to come cascading down in an avalanche of plastic boxes. The first box knocked my glasses off. The other forty squillion boxes smashed me right in the face. One cut me above my lip. Very gross. Tons of blood. No broken teeth. No broken nose.

The other gnarly scar is on my left knee. It's small and old. I got it at a sixth grade beach trip. A friend dropped her glasses into the water and I kneeled down to reach for them. I kneeled onto a plastic fork and when I stood up, it was sticking ... out of my knee. Very gross. Tons of blood."

Soup: What is something that has happened to you that you would consider a miracle?

The fact that my life intersected with Mom's and she let me stay eventhough it took me a couple of tries to get the concept of "litterbox." I was, afterall, an "outside cat" before I became Mistress of the Manor.

Mom says, "Being a passenger in a Toyota pick-up truck during a barrel-roll and end-over-end rolling incident back when I was twenty. The driver broke his arm in three places. The passenger in the middle got a concussion. I broke my glasses. The two-day-old truck was the only casualty ... Thank goodness!"

Salad: Name a television personality who really gets on your nerves.

Hmmm ... I've never been very fond of that white cat in the Fancy Feast commercials. I mean, c'mon ... Who eats catfood out of a crystal goblet! I want my food! I'd eat it in the can if Mom would let me! In fact, who needs a plate? I'd eat it off the floor!

Mom says, "I don't like that annoying infomercial guy who cleans stuff and advertises the "Hercules Hooks" (although that hooks are AWESOME!)."

Main Course: What was a funny word you said as a child (such as "pasketti" for "spaghetti")?
Uh ... cat? I don't speak much ... I call myself "Maus."

Mom says, "'Eempeedeemps' were elephants and 'foddies' were horses. Otherwise, I was rather swift as a kid." My friend from kindergarten, Dorothy Elizabeth, had much cuter ones ... We were tykes before "Happy Meals," but she liked to go out for "mongagers, fee-fis and cocoa." Oh, and it was said with a slight lisp.

Dessert: Fill in the blank: I have always thought ______ was ______.

Mom says, "Oh, I've GOTTA take this one! I have always thought that Wayne Newton singing "Danke Shoen" was a WOMAN singing!"


OH, AND THIS ... BY THE WAY ... IS POST #299!