Thursday Thirteen ... Groaners!

Mom's tired an' a little bit stressed ('cuz there are only ten school days left), so we're gonna tell some really bad elementary school-type jokes for this week's Thursday Thirteen.  Feel free to groan as often an' as much as you'd like.  Just remember that levity is a beautiful thing ...

                          
1. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him!

2. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way ... Unique up on him!

3. How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

4. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Dam.

5. What do Eskimos get from sitting on ice too long?
Polaroids
                                      
6. What do you call a faulty boomerang?
A stick

7. What do call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese

8. What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate clauses             

9. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk                                      
                   
10. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck        

11. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.    

12. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers                                        

13. Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckles on their hats.

Now, admit it ... At least one of these made you smile!